Browsing Facebook the other night I came across a story that stuck with me and I keep finding myself thinking about it and sharing it with other mums, so I am going to share it with you….
A new mum was in a cafe and ordered herself a hot breakfast, once sat comfortably, her little baby decided now was a good time to wake and have a feed, she started to feed the baby when her food arrived at the table. Mum carried on feeding as she let her own food get colder. A fellow diner approached the table- The mum describes how she thought she was going to have a confrontation with the diner and asked to stop feeding her baby in public; when actually the diner commented on what a great job she was doing and proceeded to cut up mums breakfast so she could feed herself easily whilst it was still hot and continue to feed her baby at the safe time.
The mum was so thankful and touched that a stranger came to her need with just a simple task of helping her have a hot breakfast – a simple task that when your with a baby suddenly becomes tricky
This Facebook post hit a nerve with me, speaking for myself and my own experience, I will explain why….
Finding yourself on maternity leave with a brand new gorgeous baby can be quite daunting and lonely – your friends and family are often at work and it can take some time to find a mum and baby group or even gain confidence going into a room full of people you don’t know. Even going out of the house can be scary at first! thoughts of what do you pack? what if the baby cries the whole time? what if I need something I haven’t got with me? fun huh?!
When Sonny was about 2 months old I arranged to meet a friend in town, arriving really early I decided to feed Sonny and treat myself to a hot chocolate (my first out on my own with little chap) I picked a well know coffee house purely because it was next to where my friend and I were meeting. Queuing patiently I glanced round and noticed there were very few tables available, then remembered there was no lift to the lower floor -panic set in! Paying for my drink, I tried to balance the hot chocolate whilst hurriedly weaving the pram through mouse size gaps. I got so close then a couple sat down at the table I had my eye on! Stood in the middle of this tiny coffee shop in the way of everyone, hot chocolate all over the saucer, sonny starting to cry, I could feel tears pricking as I doubted my judgement for even attempting to have a nice hot drink and a little break!
Finally I perched on a teeny table in the corner (I don’t even think this was a proper customer table, more to display magazines) and fed my crying little baby, as expected I let my hot chocolate go cold, left it and walked out super deflated with a dent in my confidence.
Whilst this event hasn’t scarred me for life or put me off going out for a coffee (actually its my favourite thing to do), it has taught me a few lessons:
- Lots of places aren’t baby, pram or even disability friendly
- More thought needs to go into choosing coffee shops, cafes, restaurants etc when with small child and large pram (this may seem obvious but its not when you are new to this mum role and have never needed to think about it before! Especially when decided on a whim!)
- Don’t be afraid to ask people to help moving furniture (no one helped me but then I didn’t ask instead I just felt like I was in the way)
- Always offer help to any parents (or anyone in that matter) but especially new parents as your confidence is quite fragile- take their tray, move a chair or even offer a smile, simple things to really make a massive difference
Love Harriet x