Fathers day….

I wrote back in March about my love for mothers day (here) so it only seems right that we give our fathers and also our husbands who are fathers a big pat on the back too and what better way than Fathers day…

As much as I love celebrating Mum, I’d love to celebrate and thank my Dad  and also thank Ian for being such an amazing dad to Sonny. Whilst thinking about this post it struck me how lucky I am to even feel inspired enough to write a post like this. So many people I know (or have met along the way) aren’t close to their dads, they didn’t have a strong presence in their life which makes me sad but also lucky that I feel close to the males in my life and value the importance of fathers just as much as mothers.

I have a lot of character traits similar to my dad, I have always admired his hard work and determination along with his passion for family time, making sure we catch up and socialise with each other, I really enjoy spending time with him and Sonny loves his granddad too!

I also need to say how lucky Sonny is to have a dad like Ian, not many dads seem as secure or confident with their baby/toddler and I have witnessed many dads panic at the thought of being left alone entertaining them, not Ian! Sonny and Ian have so much fun together on their own, some amazing bonding time and Ian is not afraid to parent just as much as me! I am obviously very thankful when they go off on a swimming date together and leave me with a little peace. Sonny has such a fantastic role model and I wouldn’t want to parent with anyone else!

Big love to the dads who are doing a good job, I still think unfortunately there are many who could take a lesson from you!

Love Harriet x

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My new favourite books….

I used to be such a book worm until the last few years where I’ve hardly picked up a book or felt engaged enough to see one through, I could blame an over active brain juggling work and a toddler, come 7.30pm I just want to sit and not focus on anything..until now!

This year my birthday list included quite a few books that I fancied delving into. Estee Lalondes’ Bloom being one of them, mostly because it looked so pretty and a perfect asset to any coffee table! Giovanna Fletcher and Fearne Cotton well they are majorly on my girl crush list and both books so different but equally intrigued me!

I read Bloom in a day, I had some time to take from work and with Sonny in nursery, the light hearted and beautifully presented book was so easy to read. I loved the variety of sections detailing Estée’s life and experiences plus growing up at a similar time meant so much of it was relatable and the references I totally got! The photos are as you expect, gorgeous! I totally recommend this as an easy flick through book especially if your in you mid to late (ahem) twenties.

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Motherhood…You’re doing a good job….

I know its not just me that has found the transition from being an independent, career loving women into the scary world of motherhood hard Its not just me that gets a little sting and can feel suffocated with the realisation that you can’t just get up and go to the shops or make those last minute dinner plans with friends.

THIS IS NOT A MOAN, I love my family life, Infact take me out for a night out or weekend away and I long to be back with my PJs on, cuppa in one hand, chocolate in the other, sat amongst my lovely husband and little boy! This is me figuring out how such a dramatic change in identity can make you feel all sorts of weird.

Becoming a mother is a massive change in identity, suddenly thrust upon this ‘perfect’ ideal of homemaking life, where you are judged for any tiny decision; breast or bottle, co-sleep or independent, self sooth or hold tight…trying to untangle and navigate this new life is so daunting and no one quite prepares you for it.

Every family situation is different, every baby is different, throw in ever changing ‘best baby practice’ guidelines and you’ve gotta be Sherlock to pass this challenge!

For me, I feel like the first 6 months of motherhood was joined by shock…I mean come on, lack of sleep, responsibility like never before, surely the unshakeable people wobble! Combined with the constant need to check I was doing a good job, the validation that ‘yep you are a good mum’ all contributing to a mound of anxiety. I’m the kind of person that needs validation in my life; Career wise through feedback, appraisals, Exercise by lifting heavier, running further, faster but through Motherhood?? There aren’t any monthly meetings to score you, no progress cards to tick off and you can be left feeling pretty crappy once you start the comparing yourself game especially with the insta mums planned photo ops and props, glossing the realities… it can be a heavy force dragging you down!

My comfort blanket and cosy place lies with my like minded friends, especially the fellow mums or ones who are aware of what’s going on. They get it, pat you on the back whilst covered in Weetabix themselves! I think its important to tell each other how good-a-job we are doing, we are in it together which helps massively (cringe high five). Do I need to label myself and have a clear identity? Probably not right now, one thing I have learnt is that you adapt. It’s ok for my identity to change slightly, I can still be myself just with a scruffy tshirt and darker under eye circles!

Love Harriet x

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10 Things I’ve learn’t from having an 18 month old…

You will never learn as much about yourself as you do when you have a child…The length of your patience and how far it can really be pushed, how breathing and counting to 10 does really help, how much you can REALLY love someone and how a simple unprompted cuddle can cause ripples of emotion.

Here are also some life lessons perhaps I didn’t give enough value to…

 

  • 6pm has a new meaning to the day…wind down, bed time hour, time for milk and snuggles and an hour until my little bundle of craziness gives me some ‘quiet’ time!

 

  • Mr Tumble provides a great free babysitter…no i’m not talking about leaving the house but simply a second to put a wash on, clean the house without ‘mummy football’ following me around. Mr T is a permanent fixture on our sky record.

 

  • Flop from Bing is #parentgoals how does he remain so calm and focused?

 

  • Why does the world insist on being extra loud when its nap time? charity workers decide its the perfect time to knock on the door, neighbours start strimming the grass…NO NO NO

 

  • Snacks and bribes should be taken EVERYWHERE! in the car, in every single bag I own!

 

  • YouTube has demos for everything you could need; Setting up the pram, installing the IsoFix..the list is endless to tap into

 

  • A quiet but more importantly hot cup of tea is like winning the lottery….A magazine or book is a bonus prize! Simple things you don’t value until you are a parent.

 

  • Finding mum friends and going for a park date or walk is more fulfilling and soul satisfying  then any expensive baby club!

 

  • Mum guilt will hit you but its normal and so so common…talk to those mum friends they will make you feel better!

 

  • You become amazing at inventing characters and scenarios to entertain your toddler or to help with a simple task… Currently Sonny believes the neighbours cat is watching him eat his dinner and monitoring his progress, anything for another spoonful of pasta!

 

As we are rapidly approaching the 2 year mark I am sure there is plenty more to learn and open my eyes up so I will keep you updated!

Have you learnt anything extra? I’d love to hear them!

Love Harriet x

 

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Celebrating Mum…..Mothers day edit

Mothers day has always been a date highlighted in my mind, I used to love making something special at school or crafting a card, making sure my neatest handwriting was applied and so excited to hand it over on that special morning to be greeted with an over the top (yet encouraging)  THANK YOUUUU from mum.

I feel like as a child you subconsciously know that the mum in the family is often left going without,  she is the one doing the organising/ cake buying/ surprising / planning for everyone else so it feels really special and important to give something back.

I have always enjoyed celebrating mum, she does so much for us all and never stops to put herself first! Now that I am a mum myself I experience first hand what its like to look after everyone, I love making a big deal of everyone else so its nice to think there is a day put a side to just enjoy being a mum, making a fuss of your own mum and well just saying an extra special thank you because oh my gosh you deserve it!

This year I will be of course spending it with my lovely mum and Sonny, hopefully with a delish slice of cake, cup of tea with a card  resting on the mantle piece (note to husband!) and next to some lovely spring daffodils….god I love them this time of year!!

I long for that day when Sonny proudly hands me a homemade card and I get to gush to him about how amazing it is, see his little beaming smile!

I hope all you mums out there have a relaxing or at least a somewhat peaceful day, you deserve a break!!

Love Harriet x

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