Fathers day….

I wrote back in March about my love for mothers day (here) so it only seems right that we give our fathers and also our husbands who are fathers a big pat on the back too and what better way than Fathers day…

As much as I love celebrating Mum, I’d love to celebrate and thank my Dad  and also thank Ian for being such an amazing dad to Sonny. Whilst thinking about this post it struck me how lucky I am to even feel inspired enough to write a post like this. So many people I know (or have met along the way) aren’t close to their dads, they didn’t have a strong presence in their life which makes me sad but also lucky that I feel close to the males in my life and value the importance of fathers just as much as mothers.

I have a lot of character traits similar to my dad, I have always admired his hard work and determination along with his passion for family time, making sure we catch up and socialise with each other, I really enjoy spending time with him and Sonny loves his granddad too!

I also need to say how lucky Sonny is to have a dad like Ian, not many dads seem as secure or confident with their baby/toddler and I have witnessed many dads panic at the thought of being left alone entertaining them, not Ian! Sonny and Ian have so much fun together on their own, some amazing bonding time and Ian is not afraid to parent just as much as me! I am obviously very thankful when they go off on a swimming date together and leave me with a little peace. Sonny has such a fantastic role model and I wouldn’t want to parent with anyone else!

Big love to the dads who are doing a good job, I still think unfortunately there are many who could take a lesson from you!

Love Harriet x

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My new favourite books….

I used to be such a book worm until the last few years where I’ve hardly picked up a book or felt engaged enough to see one through, I could blame an over active brain juggling work and a toddler, come 7.30pm I just want to sit and not focus on anything..until now!

This year my birthday list included quite a few books that I fancied delving into. Estee Lalondes’ Bloom being one of them, mostly because it looked so pretty and a perfect asset to any coffee table! Giovanna Fletcher and Fearne Cotton well they are majorly on my girl crush list and both books so different but equally intrigued me!

I read Bloom in a day, I had some time to take from work and with Sonny in nursery, the light hearted and beautifully presented book was so easy to read. I loved the variety of sections detailing Estée’s life and experiences plus growing up at a similar time meant so much of it was relatable and the references I totally got! The photos are as you expect, gorgeous! I totally recommend this as an easy flick through book especially if your in you mid to late (ahem) twenties.

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Wedding day Tips…From a Planner and a Bride….

After all the prep, mountains of invitations sent and probably a lot of aching fingers from crafting the hell out of your big day, its suddenly here, upon you quicker than you had ever imagined.

I have met brides who are so chilled, breezy and relaxed before their big day that a quick guest drop out or  last minute gluten free meal request (happens all the time!) wont cause a flicker of panic and then I’ve met brides who go into complete melt down and nearly call off the whole day because a shade of purple on the chair cover is so slightly (and I mean sooo slightly) different to the ribbon on the church service booklets – Come on! Serious first world problems!! Meeting all these lovely ladies gave me an upper hand and great indication of how I wanted to feel and act on my big day…Perks of planning many a wedding before my own you see!

Here are a collection of tips for the night before or the day of your wedding to ensure you can really soak it all up and keep as calm as possible.

Disclaimer, anyone who knows me knows that I really believe in the prep and organisation so if you are like me then I hope these nuggets of info will help.

Prior to the day:

Allocate jobs, share the ‘to do’ list among friends, drop off your centre pieces, place cards etc to the venue with instructions on how to set up the tables or even better you set up the tables a day or so beforehand, eliminate that stress late on the night before or on the actual day!

Make a weekend of it, the day itself goes so quickly that I wanted to plan a little BBQ with my closest girls and bridesmaids the night before, a chance to share stories and build up the excitement together and of course more memories to look back on. One of my friends had family from north travelling down so they had a 4 day party with loads of laughter and photos, the wedding was just the icing on the cake!

Grab an early night, it seems obvious but often I hear many brides say they didn’t sleep well the night before. Set yourself  to unwind and allow yourself time to just try and switch off, come the morning the house will be full of people again and you want to make sure you had as much sleep as you possibly could have.

On the day:

Stop and take it in as much as possible, its easier said then done but it is true when people say the day flies by! Plan to be with your husband as much as you can,  the demands of the day may pull you in different directions but its nice to get together and watch all your hard work unfold and all the people you love having such a good time.

Plan your photo schedule, not only will most photographers require this but it means you’ll capture the important moments as well as saving time on the day faffing with awkward poses and take up valuable mingling, prosecco drinking time…

Following on, don’t drink too much! Yes enjoy some fizz, god you’ve deserved it! Just don’t drink too much, you want to remember every part of this day and no one likes a sloppy drunk bride, just a merry one!

Talk to the people you really want to; This is something I really told myself to do, I didn’t want to waste precious time with people I don’t normally see or have even met (sorry to offend) I wanted to chat to my lovely family and best friends,  share the giddiness together… not get stuck in small talk with someone that didn’t even know my name! To be honest the majority of my guests were all close, even if there were 135 in the day…our families are big!

Dance with your friends , again another biggie for me, I didn’t want to miss out on all the fun and fab music. I wanted to party with the girls I normally party with, re-live our usual dancefloor antics so that’s exactly what I did and it still remains one of my favourite memories!

Eat the cake, the cake you’ve carefully picked, probably in your favourite flavour but its something I missed out on and I was truly gutted! Cake is one of my favourite things in life anyway but my amazing friend had lovingly made my Wedding cake and I didn’t even get to sample the finished result! Don’t miss out on your cake, plus calories after your wedding taste amazing, lets face it you’ve probably dieted or ‘carefully’ eaten beforehand!

Lastly anything you haven’t done already isn’t important and often the small details your guests wont even notice, they are there for you and your husband/wife so remember there’s nothing worse then a miserable bride (and believe me I’ve seen some! )

Enjoy your day! Love Harriet x

Other Wedding posts here and here

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Motherhood…You’re doing a good job….

I know its not just me that has found the transition from being an independent, career loving women into the scary world of motherhood hard Its not just me that gets a little sting and can feel suffocated with the realisation that you can’t just get up and go to the shops or make those last minute dinner plans with friends.

THIS IS NOT A MOAN, I love my family life, Infact take me out for a night out or weekend away and I long to be back with my PJs on, cuppa in one hand, chocolate in the other, sat amongst my lovely husband and little boy! This is me figuring out how such a dramatic change in identity can make you feel all sorts of weird.

Becoming a mother is a massive change in identity, suddenly thrust upon this ‘perfect’ ideal of homemaking life, where you are judged for any tiny decision; breast or bottle, co-sleep or independent, self sooth or hold tight…trying to untangle and navigate this new life is so daunting and no one quite prepares you for it.

Every family situation is different, every baby is different, throw in ever changing ‘best baby practice’ guidelines and you’ve gotta be Sherlock to pass this challenge!

For me, I feel like the first 6 months of motherhood was joined by shock…I mean come on, lack of sleep, responsibility like never before, surely the unshakeable people wobble! Combined with the constant need to check I was doing a good job, the validation that ‘yep you are a good mum’ all contributing to a mound of anxiety. I’m the kind of person that needs validation in my life; Career wise through feedback, appraisals, Exercise by lifting heavier, running further, faster but through Motherhood?? There aren’t any monthly meetings to score you, no progress cards to tick off and you can be left feeling pretty crappy once you start the comparing yourself game especially with the insta mums planned photo ops and props, glossing the realities… it can be a heavy force dragging you down!

My comfort blanket and cosy place lies with my like minded friends, especially the fellow mums or ones who are aware of what’s going on. They get it, pat you on the back whilst covered in Weetabix themselves! I think its important to tell each other how good-a-job we are doing, we are in it together which helps massively (cringe high five). Do I need to label myself and have a clear identity? Probably not right now, one thing I have learnt is that you adapt. It’s ok for my identity to change slightly, I can still be myself just with a scruffy tshirt and darker under eye circles!

Love Harriet x

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10 Things I’ve learn’t from having an 18 month old…

You will never learn as much about yourself as you do when you have a child…The length of your patience and how far it can really be pushed, how breathing and counting to 10 does really help, how much you can REALLY love someone and how a simple unprompted cuddle can cause ripples of emotion.

Here are also some life lessons perhaps I didn’t give enough value to…

 

  • 6pm has a new meaning to the day…wind down, bed time hour, time for milk and snuggles and an hour until my little bundle of craziness gives me some ‘quiet’ time!

 

  • Mr Tumble provides a great free babysitter…no i’m not talking about leaving the house but simply a second to put a wash on, clean the house without ‘mummy football’ following me around. Mr T is a permanent fixture on our sky record.

 

  • Flop from Bing is #parentgoals how does he remain so calm and focused?

 

  • Why does the world insist on being extra loud when its nap time? charity workers decide its the perfect time to knock on the door, neighbours start strimming the grass…NO NO NO

 

  • Snacks and bribes should be taken EVERYWHERE! in the car, in every single bag I own!

 

  • YouTube has demos for everything you could need; Setting up the pram, installing the IsoFix..the list is endless to tap into

 

  • A quiet but more importantly hot cup of tea is like winning the lottery….A magazine or book is a bonus prize! Simple things you don’t value until you are a parent.

 

  • Finding mum friends and going for a park date or walk is more fulfilling and soul satisfying  then any expensive baby club!

 

  • Mum guilt will hit you but its normal and so so common…talk to those mum friends they will make you feel better!

 

  • You become amazing at inventing characters and scenarios to entertain your toddler or to help with a simple task… Currently Sonny believes the neighbours cat is watching him eat his dinner and monitoring his progress, anything for another spoonful of pasta!

 

As we are rapidly approaching the 2 year mark I am sure there is plenty more to learn and open my eyes up so I will keep you updated!

Have you learnt anything extra? I’d love to hear them!

Love Harriet x

 

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