With 5 of my friends expecting from December onwards, its not only got me excited for some major newborn cuddles and catching a whiff of that new baby scent but its also got me thinking about the rules and things that are helpful or in some cases not helpful when visiting a new mum in the throws of that just-given-birth haze and bubble that is like no other.
Of course once that ‘He’s/She’s arrived!’ text is sent, friends and family are eagerly penciling in slots to come and meet the new arrival often forgetting to stop and realise that the parents are at best often in a sleeplessness shocked state, starving because they haven’t got the energy to step foot in the kitchen, wearing maternity PJs and feeling generally a bit blurred!
I remember so vividly putting off visitors knocking at my door for a couple of days….apart from our parents, we needed them! The thought of making endless pots of tea whilst still sore and recovering from birth just didn’t seem right especially when if you’re like me and like to be in control, I just knew I wouldn’t be able to sit back! Definitely text your friend congratulations and offer support but leave it so they will tell you when they are ready for a visit.
Once I was ready for the world to meet our teeny tiny baby, the gesture of bringing something edible was so very welcome, in fact even better on two separate occasions friends came and cooked for me which blew me away! I didn’t realise at the time but it was exactly what I needed and its one of those things that sticks clearly in my mind and meant so much to me!
Sonny was lucky to have so many people wanting newborn cuddles he would get passed around so much so that he’d get sick of being held and liked to get put back in his moses, this meant I often sacrificed my cuddles with him and once the house was quiet again I felt like I had missed out. It’s something I have tried to be conscious of when I visit babies now as those first weeks flyby and before you know it you have a toddler who is too busy exploring to cuddle!!
Cleaning, this is something I’ve heard mentioned on loads of blogs, family members coming over to whizz the hoover round, help with some chores and its a great idea however, I also wanted to feel like I was still able to do normal things and try and get myself back into my day to day life so its definitely a welcome gestured and great for anyone who like a C-section needs longer recovery time but don’t be offended if the duster isn’t thrust upon you, maybe the new parents actually want a ‘normal’ routine jobs to do.
I really struggled to sleep when the baby slept, not just the early days but generally throughout my maternity leave, It felt like there was so much to do in those precious windows of time prep dinner, quick scrub of the bathroom or even just to have a shower, so when my mum popped in one day to take Sonny for a walk, it felt like a massive relief, buying me some extra time to complete job and maybe squeeze in a little nap.
It’s important to remember that everyone asks about the new baby, of course they will, I mean you’ve all waited 9 months to meet them but don’t forget to check on the new mum and dad, they often haven’t had time to think about themselves so just a quick chat and put some focus back on them will go a long way trust me!
Just remember to call ahead before rocking up, bring some milk with you..the amount of cuppas you make for these visits is crazy and be ready to offer lots of hugs!
Enjoy that new baby smell…
Love Harriet x